Learn to Say No

It’s difficult to say why people that want to say no to somebody else end up saying yes. There can be multiple reasons behind this attitude and nobody should be judged for trying to be helpful to somebody else.

But there are limits to everything. You should set boundaries otherwise you will also be considered to be a people pleaser, a yes man or woman and sometimes people can take advantage of your kindness and that will only leave you angered, sad and overwhelmed. You end up losing time, patience and money and you will also tend to blame yourself for saying yes. It’s time to change this approach step by step. In time, you’ll be able to say no without feeling guilty about it.

Emotional Blackmail

Some people might realize that they can always ask for your help and they can put on a sad face or insist till they persuade you to help them out. It’s called emotional blackmail and bad people can feed off your good intentions. Keep a distance between you and these people and refuse them in a polite manner. You have a busy schedule and you have problems of your own. Let these people sort their problems out.

Why We Tend to Say Yes

We must first understand the reasons why we tend to be people pleasers. Psychologists have several explanations for our tendency to say yes to people. It can be fear of rejection, it can be common sense (we have been raised to be polite and helpful and it’s in our genes to be good people)and we don’t want to be perceived as being bad persons. Understanding our behavior will help us change it a bit to be able to say no.

You Aren’t Mean

If you say no that doesn’t mean you’re a mean person. You can help people, you can give to charity, you can take care of animals and other people. Help comes in many shapes and you can choose what kind of help you are able to give. But you also have limits. You have plenty of work to do, you have a family to take care of and you also need to take care of yourself. Let other people solve their own problems.

Introspection and Self-Confidence

Analyze your actions, behavior and personality more. Practice introspection. Work on your self-esteem. Build your self-confidence. If you are objective with your traits and flaws you can better assess a situation. You don’t need anyone’s approvals. You can take decisions on your own and you are proud of your achievements and of who you are. You don’t have to be a yes man or a yes woman to feel appreciated. Saying no to others is quite healthy. And knowing your worth is vital.

Never Apologize

Don’t feel guilty or apologize to someone for saying no. Be polite, but don’t apologize. You are entitled to politely refuse someone without feeling bad about it. After all, it’s your time, it’s your life and you don’t owe anybody anything.