How to Handle a Divorce
How to Handle a Divorce
It takes two to tango and since relationships are so complex and difficult at times, the inevitable can occur. Your marriage is coming to an end and you have to face a new, frightening stage in your life: a divorce.
Divorce doesn’t have to be perceived as frightening; it’s the unknown that actually terrifies us. But since things never turn out the way we planned, getting a divorce may be for the best of all the persons involved (including the kids). But nobody should underestimate the heartache either. This is why there are many ways that teach you how to handle a divorce.
Treat It like any Loss
As terrible as it may sound for now, divorce is a loss. This is where the grieving process kicks in. You lose a person that was part of your life. You have to realize what you’re going through, allow yourself some time off, cry it all out, vent your feelings to your friends or therapist and start discovering a world full of endless possibilities. Think of the many beautiful things that can be done; there are so many dreams you need to accomplish for yourself. It’s the beginning of a new stage in your life; the thought alone should bring a smile on your face. It’s time to plan, organize your life and set some goals.
It’s Probably for the Best
Some relationships aren’t meant to be. But you can be grateful of the fond memories and the things you accomplished together. If you have kids, you can still be two actively involved parents that are there for their kids. When a relationship doesn’t work anymore, everybody has to suffer. Your kids would have to deal with endless fights, arguments and they can feel the tension between their parents. You also accumulate too much heartache and have to deal with too much frustration as a couple and if it doesn’t work anymore, divorce is the best choice you can possibly make.
Recurring, Conflicting Feelings
Divorce is never easy. You will have to handle a wide range of emotions from rage, frustration, nostalgia, resentment to happiness, liberation and whatnot. Any human being will be overwhelmed by so many emotions. But go easy on yourself. The conflicting feelings you are dealing with are natural and they are part of this process. They will fade out in time, but they won’t disappear completely. You will move on and find joy in other things.
You Are Never Alone
You may feel lonely at times, but you are never alone. You have your friends and family next to you. Your kids, your parents, your relatives, your best friends are there for you. You just need to let them in your heart and be grateful that you are surrounded by people that love you. You don’t have to go through a divorce alone even if you are capable and strong enough, isolation is never the answer.
Say No to Risky Adventures
You may feel the urge or impulse to do risky things. This erratic, dangerous behavior stems from the desire to destroy or ignore what you’re feeling inside. If you give in to this kind of behavior, you’ll regret it later and you’ll also hurt the ones that love you. Give yourself time and patience to heal. If you feel depressed, go to a therapist that will help you out. There’s a solution to any problem if you’re willing to solve it.
How to Handle a Breakup
How to Handle a Breakup
A breakup is never an easy thing to handle, even when it comes to short lived relationships. Every person needs to cope with the idea of a breakup in a different way because every individual and relationship is unique and when feelings are involved, it takes time and different tips to handle such a thing.
Unfortunately, breaking up with someone happens to anybody at least once in their lifetime. This shouldn’t be labeled in any way; it is a natural process that is part of human interactions and it shouldn’t be tagged as shameful or as a failure. Nevertheless, it is still painful, but a breakup can be soothed by discovering what you really need and about finding the way in which you can cope with such a sad event in your life.
Vent Your Feelings
This is just one of the many beautiful reasons why you have best friends. Get out more, socialize, vent your feelings to the persons that you love. These friends have been by your side for so many years; they know and understand you and know how to pick you up. You can also keep a diary and write about your feelings there. You need to get the heartache out of your system. But keep it decent. Don’t post sad things on different social media sites. It is tacky and you shouldn’t allow strangers or common acquaintances tell your ex that you are hurt. This personal matter should be mentioned only to those you feel safe with.
Travel More
As weird as it may sound, traveling has a soothing effect after a breakup. This is the me time you have waited for. This is how you can discover what you need, what you want and interacting with a different culture will make you feel more independent, too. You will realize how big this world is and how many pleasant surprises it holds for you.
Time to Invest in Yourself
Time for some selfish resolutions. If you always wanted to take up a sport or a hobby, start investing in it. Invest in your image and be a better version of yourself for all the selfish reasons. If you do something, do it for your own pleasure. It’s time to follow your dreams. You can do it because you are that strong.
Be Humble
But try to be objective; remind yourself of all the things you’ve achieved so far and be grateful for what you have. Always keep an open mind and be humble. You know that you can achieve anything you set your mind to, but don’t use an aggressive approach to accomplish things. Remember that you’re in no competition with anybody but yourself. What other people think about you is their problem, not yours. You are not here to please others; you are here to do what you want as long as you respect other people’s dreams and lives. You will feel the impulse of proving others how great you are (especially after a breakup) but the only thing you need to remind yourself of is that you need to be satisfied with yourself.
Patience is a Virtue
You heart, mind, body won’t heal so fast. You have to be patient. It can take months and even years to recover after a breakup. Be patient with yourself. It also helps to go to a therapist and work things out. You will learn that every breakup is a lesson and it adds to your life experience, making you recognize what you want from a future partner so easy.
Advantages of Drinking Coffee
Advantages of Drinking Coffee
This is one of the topics that stirs people up and starts a lot of debates. For many years now people have believed that coffee is bad for our health. Thanks to science, results of different studies have revealed the many benefits that drinking coffee has.
Coffee has nutrients and antioxidants, keeping us at bay from different illnesses and diseases. Have you ever wondered what benefits coffee has? Have you always enjoyed the smell and taste of coffee but felt guilty drinking it because people told you it was bad for your health?
You can now feel relaxed when drinking coffee and come with pertinent arguments to combat those who say that coffee is bad for you. Either way, whenever you want to try something out it’s best to be informed by the possible advantages and disadvantages before eating or drinking that particular something.
Burning Fat
There aren’t many natural ingredients that burn fat. But coffee is one of those amazing ingredients that can help you lose weight. Basically, coffee will boost your metabolic rate. This information is based on long term studies.
Less Tired and More Active
It is a known fact that coffee boosts the energy levels, too. This is why a lot of persons start their morning by drinking coffee. This is why some coworkers drink coffee in the afternoon when they’re feeling more tired than usual.
The Brain Is Happier
There are so many interesting effects that coffee has over our brains. For starters, our memory improves when drinking coffee and so does our mood. Our reactions are quicker and more precise, too. All in all, the brain is happier and that’s all that matters.
It’s Perfect for Working Out
If you are a gym rat or you try to stay in shape, drink a cup of coffee half an hour before your workout. Coffee will help you last throughout your entire workout, giving you the necessary energy to do various exercises. The same rule applies for jogging enthusiasts.
A Lower Risk to Have Diabetes
Your chances of getting type II diabetes decrease if you’re a coffee lover. Scientists haven’t discovered exactly what compounds from the coffee that we drink keep us from harm’s way, but the truth is that it is unlikelier to have diabetes if you’re an avid coffee drinker.
The Liver Is Happy
Other studies have proved that coffee protects your liver from different diseases. The percentages are high; coffee lowers the risk of suffering from different liver diseases with 80%. That sounds so amazing.
Feeling Depressed? Try Drinking Coffee
Even if a pertinent cure for depression hasn’t been discovered yet, studies show that people who drink coffee feel less depressed.
Different Myths Debunked
The most famous myth regarding coffee drinking is the fact that coffee could cause stroke and increase the risks of different heart diseases. Recent studies prove that it’s the other way around. Coffee actually keeps you away from strokes and different heart diseases. It is true that at times coffee increases the blood pressure, but the increased levels don’t pose any threat to our health.
The Advantages of Being a Parent at a Young Age!
The Advantages of Being Parents at a Young Age
There is a current shift in thinking when it comes to parenting. Modern society believes that focusing first on your career goals then being a parent is better. When is the proper age to become a parent? It’s such a difficult question to answer and it obviously depends on many things from one’s financial and relationship status to biological clock and state of mind.
But there are plenty of advantages of being a parent at a young age. Do you feel ready? Honestly, this is one of the main questions you should ask yourself. Then you can start pondering about different situations and thinking in advance how you would act if you were to be a parent.
There Is Nothing Wrong with This Decision
If you’re already considered a mature person in your country (judging by the age, at least) you can be a parent. There is nothing wrong with being a parent at the age of 21, for example. If this is what you desire, if you feel prepared to be a parent and if you are ready and capable to raise a child, go for it. It’s your life, your baby, your decision. Don’t let other people cloud your judgment and steal the joy of being a parent. Your life goals may be different than your friends and family and that’s perfectly normal and fine.
Seeing Them Grow
You will get to spend more time with your kids. You will see them grow, achieve many great things and you will also get to be a cool grandparent or even a great grandparent. Isn’t that a wonderful thing to experience?
A Better Relationship
The age gap can create conflicts between generations. The age gap between you and your kid wouldn’t be so dramatic and this means that you can be more understanding and create the foundation of a better relationship between you and your kid.
Career and Education
Even if it’s a scary thing to consider, having a kid isn’t such a big deal in the sense that it won’t prevent you from having a job or studying and getting a degree in a certain field. There are so many options now! There are universities who have online lectures and courses; there are universities who allow you to come to school only during weekends and there are certain freelancing jobs that allow you to work from home. You can be a great parent and still get the education that you want when you are a parent at a young age.
You Will Recover Easier
Your body is fit and young enough to recover after birth (if you’re a mommy). If you’re a daddy, you are strong enough to last those sleepless nights when your wife and kid need you the most. You have the necessary energy to offer your kid the best of your time, effort and attention. This is such a healthy environment for you and the baby. Another plus to being a parent at a young age.
Seeing Life Differently
Everything changes when you have a kid; you will see things from a different perspective and you will be more mature for your age. And this isn’t a bad thing after all. You will easily distinguish what is more important in this life and this will save you a lot of trouble and stress.
The Advantages of Having an Intuitive Mind!
The Advantages of Having an Intuitive Mind
Intuition can be perceived by the mind and body, too. Intuition can be that gut feeling that alerts you that something is off and you might be in danger. Intuition is also a mental process that works to your advantage.
“Follow your intuition, it never fails you” some people may say and they are right. Although intuition can’t be explained by science, its existence can’t be denied either. There are certainly many advantages that are tied to having an intuitive mind.
Trusting Your Inner Voice
We often disregard most of our thoughts or we forget about them easily since we’re stuck with routine and other responsibilities. But your inner voice will never go away. It will come back, over and over again till you pay more attention to what that intuitive thought is trying to tell you.
More Me Time
You need to spend some time on your own. Solitude can help you understand your intuitive mind better and separate the intuitive thoughts from rational, logical ones. It may be harder at first, but in time you’ll distinguish intuition from other types of thoughts.
Intuition Bonds with Creativity
Every psychological process is linked to another psychological process and on and so forth. Naturally, our intuition influences our creative minds, too. If we do as our intuition tells us to we will also have to think of creative ways of accomplishing something or avoiding a dangerous situation. In both cases you need to act fast and be spontaneous, choosing the best solution possible.
Have You Considered Meditation?
Staying positive, being calmer and more relaxed can trigger different psychological processes that can help you reach your intuition faster. Meditation often gives you the answers that you seek; you will also understand your behavior better.
You Are More Aware of Everything
An intuitive person is aware of many things that are invisible to others. Intuitive persons can recognize a genuine feeling from a fake one, a sincere smile from a sly one etc. An intuitive mind is also aware of the surroundings and it can send signals to our brains and bodies when we are in danger. It’s the invisible bodyguard we always needed. It was there, inside our heads, all along.
Modern Times
People are preoccupied with science and that is always a good thing. But along with modern times the shift to scientific studies and answers has left unexplainable things and processes behind. Intuition is important and it is recognized by scientists but it can’t actually be explained. This is why many people believe that intuition is not that important anymore. Nevertheless, it should never be underestimated and it’s vital nowadays since modern times can get very complicated.
Keep a Journal
Every time your intuition kicks in, keep a journal around. Write down the thoughts; you will find an explanation for them later. Intuition can build a sturdy foundation for your happiness and a confident state of mind.
A Sacred Gift
Even Albert Einstein viewed intuition as being very important, calling it “a sacred gift”. We may not have the necessary tools or information to explain this amazing process, but one thing we know for sure: intuition keeps us sane, happy and cautious when unpredictable situations occur.
The Advantages of Taking Defense Classes!
The Advantages of Taking Defense Classes
First of all, self-defense classes are recommended for every gender, social class and age group. These kinds of classes are organized as to accommodate the needs of every age group. You will learn to educate the mind as well as the body.
Being independent has an important, positive influence over our lives. Financial and emotional independent persons seem to achieve things easier. But when it comes to your safety, you also need to feel in control of things.
The Confidence Boost
A happy life is also defined by self-confidence. There are so many types of bullying right now: people with a passive-aggressive behavior, violent bullies, cyberbullies and on and so forth. Teenagers as well as mature persons need to feel safe and they can protect themselves. Self-defense classes can give you the confidence boost that you need in order to deal with so many bullies.
Open Minded
Self-defense classes are much more than your typical workout sessions. Of course, they do train your body and help you stay in shape and learn different techniques to keep yourself safe but they also educate your mind. You will be more open minded and you will see and analyze things from different perspectives, anticipating danger, avoiding dangerous situations and being able to come up with solutions right on the spot. This can also help you in your day to day life, too.
Practice Makes Perfect
Like every sport, it is difficult to stay on track at times. You need to be determined and motivated enough to show up to these classes, be ready to fail, be ready to learn from your mistakes and last till the end of the sessions, even if they can be exhausting and demanding from both a physical and psychological point of view. You will see some results after some time. You will love your new approach on life and its many complex aspects. Change is most of the times a good thing.
Aware of Your Surroundings
You won’t feel so frightened anymore. You won’t give in so easily. You won’t be such a people pleaser anymore. You can and will stand up for yourself and protect your point of view and stay safe. You will also be aware of your surroundings and do your best to stay out of trouble and avoid remote, dangerous places.
The Subtle Psychological Aspects
You will easily recognize the subtle things in people that reveal their true intentions. A creepy behavior, a mean look, a sly smile, a weird glimmer in someone’s eyes, a facial cue that betrays someone’s mean intentions etc. Being aware of things will help you pay more attention to people around you.
Love Yourself More
Self-defense classes will help you understand your own reactions better. You will analyze things from a more objective perspective, starting to respect and love yourself more. You will accept who you are and you will be more than capable of admitting what you did right and what you did wrong. This is a healthy approach that will help you achieve so many great things in life.
Things that Smart People Do!
Things that Smart People Do
What makes a person smarter than the other? Is it the life experience? The good memory that allowed a person to acquire and store more information than other persons? Does it have to do with a successful career or financial independence?
Or does it relate with having a big, welcoming home and a happy family? The thing with intelligence is that all definitions are subjective. People assign intelligence different traits so it’s hard to define such an abstract concept. But there are some common things that smart people tend to do.
Learning from Others
Smart people aren’t afraid to analyze their decisions and identify their limits. They know there are many things they still have to understand and learn from others. Asking for advice from more experienced, successful people is something that smart people often do. Better learn from the mistakes of others than make too many of your own.
Admitting when They’re Wrong
It takes a great person to admit he or she is wrong. Nobody enjoys getting things wrong or failing, but admitting when you’re wrong is a sign of high intelligence.
Never Giving Up
Smart people pick up where they left. Did they fail? Yes, multiple times, but they never gave up. That’s their secret of success , of happiness.
Sometimes It Has to Do with Adjustability
Being smart doesn’t necessarily mean having an I.Q above average. Being smart can also mean being more flexible, more open minded and more eager to adjust to new situations.
Good at Saving Money
Smart people dedicate some of their free time to planning. They think of their goals, of the plans they have to make in order to achieve their goals and they take action. They’re also good at saving money for the same reasons. Good planners, good money savers. They’re big fans of frugal living and they are often good at investments, too.
Sweet Independence
Most smart people value their freedom and financial and psychological independence. They trust people but they also trust themselves, often being on their own and they are rarely afraid of taking chances. This is (most of the times) a recipe for success.
Responsible, Rational, Reliable
These 3 “Rs” can be attributed to smart people. They are responsible people; they often rely on their rational mind and they are reliable coworkers, employees or friends. Smart people will always try to lend a helping hand and they are also very efficient employees. They are often active listeners and they’re among the most reliable best friends you could possibly ask for.
Not Haunted by the Past
We can often get stuck in your problems and memories. Smart people don’t dwell in the past because they know this can be a toxic habit that leads nowhere. Smart people focus on the present but they also have long term goals which proves that the future is among their main interests, too.
Not Easily Influenced of Persuaded by Others
Smart people do take other people’s pieces of advice into account, but they also rely on their experience, analytical thinking to succeed in life. They aren’t easily influenced or persuaded by others which means they don’t lack confidence and self-esteem.
How to Be Successful!
How to Be Successful
Do you strive to be the best? Have you always wanted to be successful? Are you willing to use all of your resources (physical, psychological, creative, rational ones) to succeed in life and leave something behind?
Being successful sometimes mean reinventing something that’s already present in our society or coming up with something totally new. Being unique, bold, enthusiastic, hardworking and willing to risk in order to succeed are also typical traits of a winning mentality.
Think Outside the Box
You have to step up and stray from the beaten path in order to be successful. Don’t copy other persons that are now successful. Those persons have different experiences, personalities and goals so you won’t get the same results. You need to think outside the box and ask yourself the following questions: is your idea new? Is it efficient? Does it help others? Is it useful? Based on your honest answers, you can move on and think of some cool, new ideas.
What Is Your Dream?
You need to be very specific about things, goals, dreams, aims etc. If you have vague concepts in your mind, how can you come up with useful solutions and plans? Use all of your resources in order to understand what you’ve always wanted and how you can achieve it. That’s one of the keys to success.
Hard Work, Deadlines and Tasks
Dreams are definitely beautiful but making them come true is one challenging task. It will imply hard work, effort, determination, focus, motivation, tight deadlines, complex tasks in order to get what you want. Success is never easy that’s why many people don’t end up getting what they want; they don’t know how to organize their life and goals and they give up easily. But being prepared solves most of your problems.
A Lot of Investments
Being successful implies all sorts of investments from financial to personal ones. You have to sacrifice your free time, some of your savings and most of your energy in order to succeed. You also have to take into account the possibility of investing all of these things and failing. Even if this happens, you don’t have to feel discouraged and give up. If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again till you reach the top.
It’s Lonely at the Top
What most people don’t realize is that along with success come sorrow, loneliness, envy and isolation. Successful people have to be prepared to be independent and self-sufficient. You have to come to terms that success is rewarding but you will be misunderstood, envied and lonely at times. Which is okay since you have what you’ve always wanted. But get ready for some changes. And remember one thing: not all new people that seem to be friendly are in fact your friends. You will deal with many competitors and in any successful business you have to be a good observer and reader of human emotions and expressions. It’s not about being paranoid or not trusting other people; it’s about surrounding yourself with trustworthy persons. You will have to be ready to test people’s loyalty, as ruthless as it may sound.
A Calm Approach to Life!
A Calm Approach to Life
Extremes are never welcomed; finding the balance in life starts with your perception about different things. Being calmer can save you from future disappointments, heartaches and bad decisions. Even if you are the more impulsive, extroverted type you can use some tips to be calmer and see how that works for you.
A calm approach to life can help you cool off and analyze things better, from a relaxed, objective perspective. This is how you’ll learn to deal with stress, frustrations, deadlines, angry people. Shun the negativity away and focus on being a better version of yourself. What have you got to lose?
Yoga Classes
Yoga is recommended for both men and women. It can be the prequel to meditation. It keeps you fit and it allows you the necessary time you need to cool off and think about certain situations from a calmer point of view.
Short Naps
You need to rest. Both your mind and body need that. An angry, impulsive behavior can be triggered by lack of sleep.
Chill Out Sessions
There are many chill out session CDs, ambient music and Buddha Bar compilations that can make your day better. If you love music, this kind of genre will definitely calm you down.
Cleaning Time
A crowded, dirty, messy house can bring anybody down. You can get angry when bumping into things. Clean your house, get rid of unnecessary stuff and enjoy a more spacious home. There are some people that can calm down just by washing the dishes or vacuuming the house. Are you one of those people?
Till Exhaustion
If you are the energetic type, whatever you do might not calm you down; you may get bored by taking yoga classes, you may not pay attention to music etc. There are different techniques that can work for you, too. For example, having a hobby that matches your personality can help. Go dancing, hiking, practice different sports that you have always loved. Doing something that exhausts you will relax your muscles and mind and you end up being calmer after a day filled with different activities.
Focus on Something Else
You can trick your brain. When you suddenly feel the need to scream, shout or punch things, you can relax by focusing on something else. Stop thinking about the cause for a second and focus on something else. After the anger goes away, try to analyze the triggers, the causes of your anger and find solutions to the problems you are experiencing.
Cool Breathing Techniques
A lot of therapists will advise you take deep breaths to cool off. There are many breathing techniques that can make you calmer. Important, influential people have hired trained psychologists to help them react in a calmer manner when handling stressful situations.
All the Lovable Pets
Animal lovers know that a pet can actually improve one’s state of mind. Your angry or sad mood quickly improves when your adorable pet comes to check up on you. You can’t hide your feelings from your pets. They give you unconditional love and they know how to make you feel good just by doing something clumsy, funny, adorable. Studies show that having pets can help you deal with stress, depression, anger…
Hello, Positive Changes!
Hello, Positive Changes
Why are we so afraid of change? The unpredictable, the unknown can be scary, especially for persons who like to be in control. The moment you admit that you can’t always be in control (since life itself is unpredictable) is the moment when you become free and independent.
Routine can make things worse for people who want to try something different for a change. Let go of what you are used to and give new things a chance. Positive changes can be embraced and they can end up defining the best days of our lives.
Plan Ahead
You have no idea how many positive changes planning ahead can bring you. You save time, save money, save energy and end up being more optimistic, less stressed, more motivated and determined to get things done. And when you plan ahead you already foresee some outcomes and can also make secondary plans if things go wrong. You think of different solutions for different problems that might arise.
Say No to Guilt
We often feel guilty for our actions and decisions. Why? We don’t owe anybody anything. We fear judgment, rejection, failure. We value other people’s opinions but in the end it’s our life, our decisions, our dreams that we need to accomplish. If there’s someone we owe something, it’s ourselves. Stop thinking about other person’s opinions and start doing things for your own sake. People that really care for you want to see you happy. And only you know best what makes you happy.
Set Deadlines
You will never achieve anything if you don’t set deadlines for yourself. Knowing that you have to achieve something in let’s say one year will make you be more focused, more productive and more determined to get things done.
Turn the Good Things into Habits
Waking up early (to have more time to get things done), eating healthy, setting goals and achieving them should turn into habits. Turning the good things into routine or automatic actions is definitely part of that positive change you wish for.
Face Your Fears
We all have fears; sometimes fear can be paralyzing and it doesn’t allow us to change. You need to face your fears one way or another. Don’t rush things though. Take baby steps if you need to or go see a therapist that can help you out and make sure you won’t harm yourself by accident. Always ask for help when the situation is overwhelming. Knowing your limits is always a good start in changing for the better.
Spend Time with…Yourself
When is the last time you had a mental conversation with yourself? When is the last time you spent some hours doing something that you really like? Me time will help you understand your mind, body and desires better and you will know what is lacking in your life. You will also meditate more and practice introspection to find out how you can be a better version of yourself. These things will make you feel more relaxed and more determined to change.
What Toxic Thoughts You Need to Avoid
What Toxic Thoughts You Need to Avoid
Our mind can sabotage and complicate our existence. We don’t perceive most of our toxic thoughts and when we do, we underestimate their power over us. What can be considered a toxic thought? What can we do to avoid such thoughts?
We can’t refrain from thinking certain things but we can change some opinions we have over certain matters and try to see things differently. A different approach can have a different outcome and we can be more successful, calmer and happier. We just need plenty of determination to change things for the better.
Self-Pity
There are several thoughts that can turn us into victims. This is how we sabotage our dreams, our happiness and our social interactions and plans. Self-pity turns us into victims and the moment we see ourselves as victims we are already giving up the fight. We are and feel defeated. We need to have the mentality of a fighter. A fighter never gives up. It’s natural to fail. A fighter keeps on going till he or she wins the battle. You can learn from your mistakes and become stronger and more determined to succeed.
The Dark Side of Things
It’s okay to be realistic but it’s never recommended to see only the dark side of things. You can get caught in a web of gloomy moods, sad states of mind and toxic thoughts. You will perceive life as being mean and full of terrible things. Your existence matters, you have a purpose (be it personal or more meaningful than that) and you should try your best to find something beautiful and good in your life. You will. You are healthy, you have a job, a roof over your head, you are surrounded by friends and family, you do what you like, etc. Toxic thoughts will only bring you down. What’s the use in feeling sorry for yourself? Or in seeing the bad things only? What’s the use in thinking you are a victim? Change the mentality; it’s hard, but a more stubborn I-will-succeed kind of approach will definitely turn you into a happier, more successful person.
Not Being Responsible for Your Own Actions
It’s easier to judge and blame others for your failures. Nobody likes to admit when they’re wrong or when they lose something. But you have to face the truth. Being honest will set you free and you can start being focused on your goals and think of other plans that can help get you what you want. You are an adult and you have to be responsible for your own actions.
Living for the Moment
Being spontaneous and adventurous is nice. But being like that all the time has a negative impact over our thoughts. Risk takers don’t take long term plans into consideration. They want instant gratification and often let toxic thoughts linger (such as life is too short and awful, you have to make the best of it etc.) Living for the moment will keep you from seeing the bigger picture. The bigger picture isn’t that easy to achieve; that’s why you need to put some effort into your dreams to make them come true. Easy-to-achieve goals are at everyone’s reach; why not reach for the stars?
New Year Resolutions
New Year Resolutions
It’s that time of the year again. Well, this year is almost finished but we are thinking about Christmas, New Year’s Eve and about the New Year and what things it may bring in our lives. If you have a pen and paper, you can think of some New Year Resolutions and write them down.
Dreams can come true. It’s not just a motto of a Disney movie; it’s real life as we know it. If you work hard enough, if you stay focused and set some limits (when it comes to spending money, for example) you will definitely achieve any goal you have in mind. But you have to have a clear idea about what dreams you have and how you can make them come true.
Give Up Vices
A lot of people seem to have disregarded this important New Year’s Resolution. There are plenty of documentaries that talk about the effects that alcohol and nicotine have over our bodies. A better understanding of what we have to deal with when we don’t give up our vices will help us see that this resolution will be achieved. Go to a rehab center, retreat in a cabin with no temptations around you, practice meditation and hypnosis and before you know it you will be freed of all these vices. There are plenty of efficient techniques that can help you out. Ask for help; your friends, family and doctors can help you during these hard times.
Start Saving More Money
When you save money, you actually have a long term goal in mind. You save money for something really special; be it a brand new car or a house of your own or trips all around the world. These dreams are good enough reasons to stick to your New Year Resolutions.
Look and Feel Better
Society’s standards shouldn’t be your own standards, but if you feel the need for change, staying in shape will make you feel and look good. It’s a balance between the mind and the body so you shouldn’t even wait for the New Year to come. Act now; start a healthy diet (but make sure to check with your doctor and your nutritionist first), go to the gym more often and learn to love frugal living. Because you will also get to save some money since healthy food isn’t as expensive as junk food is.
Do What You Like
Stop finding excuses and invest in that me time. Go to the spa; go dancing if that is what you like. Think of your passions, dreams, aspirations and make time for them. You only live once and sometimes it’s better to act now than later.
Show Your Love More Often
All people crave and need affection. Show your appreciation to people around you. Spend more time with your family and friends. Especially if you miss hanging out with them. When is it a good time to start doing this? You always seem to postpone meetings.
How to Handle Stalkers
How to Handle Stalkers
In order to handle a stalker, you need to identify the signs first. They will be described below. Unfortunately, more and more women are confronted with at least one stalker during their lifetime. Most of the times stalkers are quite innocent, but they do affect their victims from a psychological standpoint.
There are a few ways to successfully handle stalkers, but if all of these tips fail, you still have an ace up your sleeve that you need to use. You should let other people know what you’re going through and notify the authorities.
Always Be Aware of the Surroundings
Do you have a strange feeling of deja-vu? You keep bumping into the same person over and over again. You remember seeing him or her somewhere, but you can’t tell for sure. Try to not be alone in the dark in secluded areas. Always be accompanied by someone. For the time being; it’s for your own safety.
The Signs
If you continuously bump into the same person-it might be time to consider that you’re being followed by a stalker. If you feel spied or you feel as if someone is looking at you (your instinct never fails) it’s time to pay closer attention to your surroundings. If you get unwanted messages on your telephone, email address or unwanted gifts at your home address, it’s time to do whatever it takes to identify the sender. If all these fail, you might consider changing your email address, phone number and ask your acquaintances if they gave your contact info out to somebody. Sometimes the stalker can be more courageous and ask you out or initiate a conversation. He or she might get aggressive if they are rejected. If they still don’t respect your personal space and they invite you on a date again (using a dulcet tone and looking so innocent) they don’t care about your refusal; they will be persistent.
Different Types of Stalkers
There are different types of stalkers out there. Some stalkers are deranged individuals that you haven’t seen before but who have formed an obsessive fascination with your persona. Maybe you remind them of someone, maybe you fit their female or male archetype or maybe you smiled politely to them out of courtesy and they imagined this was a sort of invitation. You don’t have to blame yourself for their twisted minds and scenarios. Some types of stalkers can be persons that you already know: coworkers, exes, neighbors. Some stalkers will never pose a threat to you. They will never have the courage to initiate any dialogue or encounter with you and they’ll stick to following you for a while and they’ll move on to another person. Other stalkers can go through different stages from stalking to invading your privacy to harassing you, bullying you and even threating you with a violent behavior. The moment you see a shift in their behavior, some alarm bells should ring. This is the time to act quickly. Notify the authorities, your friends and family that something is totally wrong with this stalker. Make sure to be constantly in the presence of a different person. If the authorities do nothing about it you can consider the impossible: move out, change your name, your info contact, everything. Your safety comes first. You should also take into consideration taking self-defense classes and always be aware of your surroundings. If you find yourself walking in a remote area it’s best to wait for a friend to join you.
How to Deal with Cyberbullying
How to Deal with Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is viewed as a sort of harassment where technology is used to bully people. The types of cyberbullying are many and they can be related to body shaming, psychological harassment or humiliation and it often happens on social media websites, via different messengers or even texting. This kind of bullying doesn’t end here. It comes disguised as fake profiles meant to make fun of the victim, too. Cyberbullying is a complex, painful topic that keeps getting more and more violent even if it happens in a virtual, online world.
A lot of people use the internet and cyberbullying poses a real threat since the main instigator, the main bully can draw other people into bullying a certain person. That can have horrible emotional and psychological consequences over the person who’s bullied.
Let the Ones You Love Know
You are not alone in this psychological battle. Let your friends and family know about what’s happening. You will feel a bit better and you will also understand that cyberbullying has nothing to do with you; the bully has psychological problems and he or she is projecting his own fears and frustrations on you. You are surrounded by people that love and respect you; don’t let other people tell you otherwise.
Self-confidence and Self-esteem
Oftentimes, cyberbullied people have a low self-esteem and they aren’t too confident in themselves. A cyberbully will see these things as vulnerabilities and he’ll attack, feeding off one’s emotions and pains. It takes time to build confidence and self-esteem and you should also consider going to a therapist for a few sessions. Trained therapists can really help you out to cope with such awful situations.
Report the Cyberbullying
Keep proof of the cyberbullying that just happened. Keep screenshots and show them to your internet provider or to different associations that deal with cyberbullying (for example Chatdanger can really help you out). They have the necessary means to prevent this thing from happening to another person and to punish the cyberbully.
Protect Your State of Mind
…by blocking the messages you get from that cyberbully or by changing your contact info and even leaving a certain site or deleting a certain profile. You don’t need this negativity and violence in your life. There are other social media websites you can hang on and enjoy people who won’t harm you.
Notice a Certain Pattern
You can apply some basic psychology theories when paying closer attention to your cyberbully. These kinds of persons seem to have a certain pattern. Sexual threats are normally typical of sex offenders, physical threats are typical of violent people who definitely have some psychological issues etc. This is important and it should determine you to inform the authorities; the cyberbully might be someone who has evaded the authorities or has a previous conviction. You can help this thing from happening again or save people from the harm that this cyberbully can cause in real life.
Don’t Try to Reply
Whatever you do, don’t engage in replies with your cyberbully. That’s what this person wants. To see how much it hurts you. To continue with his or her humiliations online so that everybody can see. The cyberbully likes to put on a show. Don’t let yourself be dragged in his or her mind games. Indifference and no reply from your part are the best options you have. The lack of reaction from your part will annoy the cyberbully and even if he or she may get more violent, you will have the proof that he poses a threat to the online environment.
How to Be a Good Friend
How to Be a Good Friend
There are many people who see themselves as being social awkward in various contexts. But it’s all a matter of perception. There are some situations where you can educate and polish your behavior and get rid of some of that awkwardness.
Being a good friend means to be yourself but also adapt to the needs of your friends. You won’t have to sacrifice any personality trait, you just have to use your tact and assess the situation. Afterwards you can think of a more appropriate way to be there for your friends.
Active Listening
Any person has a story to tell. Anybody longs to be heard. Your friend definitely needs to vent his or her feelings, to get something off his or her chest. A good listener will always be a good friend. But make sure to interfere in the monologue and say what you think about a certain situation. Interrupt your friend only if you think it’s appropriate. If not, let your friend end the monologue, then tell him or her what you have in mind.
Communication Is Vital
We are born to be sociable beings. Communication shouldn’t be underestimated. A good friend will always have a sincere dialogue with his group of pals. Even if you don’t know what to say, you can offer some pieces of advice that are more than welcome. If your friend goes through some hard times, it’s kind of difficult to see the matter with fresh eyes. Your perspective over your friend’s problem can be different because you are not directly involved in the situation and you can judge it from an objective point of view.
Be Trustworthy
Trust is built in time and it is one of the most valuable things in a friendship. Can your friends trust you? Can they call you in the middle of the night? Is your door always open for them? If so, they definitely trust you. You are a good friend to them even if you might not know it yet.
Don’t Judge
We all tend to judge other persons. We think we may have chosen a different solution, a different path etc. But it’s hard to be objective. We haven’t walked in that person’s shoes to know exactly how we would react to a particular situation. Never judge; it is not okay and it is also disrespectful. What you can do is offer your support to a friend and a piece of advice if your friend wants to know what you think about that particular situation.
Be Honest
Sometimes it may seem just fine to be diplomatic and sugar coat a situation. But a true friend will always be sincere. You can be sincere and polite at the same time. Even if your friends won’t agree with what you have to say, in time they will understand that you wanted what’s best for them. Honesty is the best policy and it should come from a true friend.
Moral Support
You don’t even have to do the talking or the listening. At times your friends will just need a shoulder to cry on. Make sure to have a lot of ice cream in the fridge, some beer cans or a bottle of wine and some good movies that will keep your friend’s mind busy from what’s bugging him or her.